Like Water Seen Through Colored Glass
by Miiko Ashida
Summary: Ritsuka remembers Seimei the way he wants to see him, but there is something underneath the loving memories. This collection of stories is a testament to the duality of Seimei's love, through both his and Ritsuka's eyes. [SeimeixRitsuka]
1. The Great Escape

The Great Escape  
Theme #1 - Getaway

* * *

"Is she asleep?"

A head of shiny black hair, topped by two flitting cat ears, peeked around the doorframe of Seimei's room. The older boy put a finger to his smiling lips and nodded, motioning Ritsuka to come in.

The child did so happily, flopping stomach-down onto Seimei's bed, where his brother also lay, reading. The book was in English -- one of Seimei's hobbies. "Nee-et-zuh-cheh?" Ritsuka read off the cover, struggling with the foreign characters and the strange way their pronunciation sat on his tongue. "What's that?"

Seimei laughed softly, wrapping an arm around Ritsuka's narrow shoulders. "Nee-chuh," he corrected gently, allowing for his natural Japanese accent so that Ritsuka could hear and emulate it. "He wrote about what's in people's minds. But you aren't interested in that, are you?"

Gleefully, Ritsuka shook his head, and Seimei shut the book. It was rare to see him so happy and excited; there was a great ammount of satisfaction in knowing that only he, Seimei, could bring that out. It was a huge power. And Ritsuka gave it over to him so easily, so trustingly. There was a child inside the frightened, cold shell that was the Ritsuka of late, and Seimei revelled in it even as he wondered how destroying it would feel.

"What _do_ you want to do?"

"We're going out, remember?"

Of course Seimei remembered, but he liked to hear Ritsuka say it -- when the boy asked for something, it was like Seimei was granting a wish.

Like he was granting a prayer.

"Seimei?"

"Of course, Ritsuka. Just you and me. Our day out on the town." A new smile birthed itself on Seimei's pale, handsome face, and Ritsuka launched into hugging him.

"Yay!"

"Shh. Keep your voice down." Seimei lowered his mouth to Ritsuka's ear conspiratorily, voice dropping to a whisper. "We have to be stealthy!"

"Right!" Ritsuka sobered. "Or she might wake up."

Keeping one hand on Ritsuka's shoulder, Seimei guided him, tiptoeing, through the house to the front door. He pulled on a coat and slipped one onto Ritsuka, who grinned up at him. The door opened without a squeak and then they were outside, unconscious of everything but each other as they walked together to the bus stop.

Seimei held Ritsuka's hand, stroking the bony fingers slightly, and Ritsuka didn't seem to notice. For now, that was good.


	2. Promise

Promise   
Theme #2 - The Feel of Silk

* * *

"Seimei?"

Ritsuka's voice was a muted whisper in the dark of their room. Against his back, Seimei felt the stirring of soft child-limbs. "Mm?"

"You're going to be a grown-up soon, right?"

He considered that. Ritsuka probably thought that as soon as a person was old enough to live on his own, that was what made him an adult. "Yes. In a few years."

"That soon?" Disappointment hummed in Ritsuka's sleepy voice. The warm body next to Seimei's snuggled closer. "I don't want you to, Seimei!"

"Why not?"

"I like petting your ears."

Seimei smothered laughter in his pillow. "My ears?" he asked when the humor of Ritsuka's innocent statement had passed. "They aren't going anywhere, Ritsuka. And neither am I."

"But, won't you lose your ears when you're grown up?"

"Probably not. At least, not that soon."

Seimei was surprised when two fingers rubbed along the edge of one velvety, soft ear, Ritsuka's warm, moist breath puffing on the back of his neck. He had to fight down the thoughts that came to his mind, instinctual desires the touch awakened that he had to resist giving in to. Seimei prided himself on nothing if not his strong will, but his little brother tested it every day. "They're so soft," Ritsuka sighed, petting a little more boldly, toward the base of the ear where it vanished into Seimei's thick black curls. "Like touching silk. I wish you'd keep them forever."

A smile parted Seimei's lips in the dark. "That would be really hard, Ritsuka. How about this instead? We'll lose both of ours at the same time. Would that make you happy?"

"Yes," Ritsuka enthused, having no idea what he had just agreed to.


	3. Healing Touch

Healing Touch  
Theme #3 - Bubbles

* * *

With intense interest, Ritsuka watched the fibers of Seimei's bedspread.  
"How many times?" Seimei asked.

_You dumb child, how many times do I have to tell you! My Ritsuka wouldn't make such a mistake._

"Ritsuka?"

The younger Aoyagi rubbed fingers over the raw flesh of his wrist, not responding. Seimei put a hand on Ritsuka's shoulder. One thumb stroked the base of his neck absently.

"I was gone four days, Ritsuka. How often did it happen?"

"I don't know."

_You're such a liar! You little monster, monster stealing my poor baby angel's face!_

Seimei sighed. "I shouldn't have left you alone with her, I know. And I'm sorry. But you can still trust me. You can depend on me. I won't leave again."

"I'm not mad, Seimei! I do -- I trust you! I just...I just wanted to be better, so you would see that you don't have to protect me. But I got so scared"

"Being scared isn't bad." Seimei took Ritsuka's wrist gingerly and dabbed peroxide onto the ragged, puffy scratches scoring pale skin. Ritsuka stared at the tiny bubbles that foamed there, grew and burst and grew all over again. That meant it was infected, or something. "But when you're scared, just run like I told you. Okay?"

Sniffle. "Okay, Seimei."

_You little brat! You can never be my Ritsuka! Seimei hates you -- he hates you, hates you, _HATES YOU_! Disgusting little --_

"Don't cry, Ritsuka. I'm right here."


	4. Inversion

Inversion  
Theme #4 - A Jumbled Up Mess

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Through the door, the words were a string of tangled, angry sounds; Ritsuka couldn't make head nor tail of them. But they were angry, and he knew what he'd find inside.

He kicked off his shoes and cautiously pulled open the front door. Luckily, none of the voices paused in notice of his entrance. He lingered in the foyer, afraid to move on into the kitchen, where the argument seemed to be located.

Naturally, it was Mother doing the screaming. Just under it, he could hear Seimei's calm, smooth voice (that calmed his nerves a little; if Seimei was here, then no matter how angry mother was, he was safe) parrying Mother's shrieks. There was something in Seimei's voice, though -- dangerous and cold. Something Ritsuka hadn't heard before, that made the hair stand up on the back of his neck as he listened through the wall, unwilling to show himself while mother was having a fit. He wondered if Seimei's face would have its usual imperturbable expression, or if that deadly, hard edge of ice would show up in his eyes or the wide set of his mouth.

Ritsuka flinched back and had to steel himself not to run either away or to Seimei's side when he heard the sound of a plate exploding against the wall.

And then the strangest part of all struck him: Mother was yelling at _Seimei_. Her golden child, her favorite son, as far as she was concerned her _only_ son left. She was angry at him. Wasn't that impossible? Awe donned on Ritsuka's mind as the words took shape and meaning. Even filtered through the wall as they were, he could undertand just who was saying what.

"I can see it on your face right now!" The sound of someone spitting in contempt. Mother continued, "You're lying! You're lying and they all believe it! It makes me sick!"

She must be having a very bad fit today, if she was saying things like that to Seimei.

"Mother," Seimei's voice cut in softly, "you are mistaken. Ritsuka is my brother. Of course I haven't -- " And Mother cut him off, wailing. Ritsuka could almost see her in his mind's eye, hair whipping side-to-side as she shook her head, backing away, pupils dilated with unhealthy adrenaline.

"Stop lying! You're as bad as that demon child! Or has he corrupted you? Is that it?"

"Ritsuka is innocent in this, mother." The biting edge in his voice got sharper.

"Ugh! You disgust me! Do you think I'm blind? Do I seem stupid to you? I can see the way you touch him! I see how your hand lingers on his leg, how you're always stroking his hair! It's just...I just don't want to believe it! Tell me if it's some demon spell he's cast! Just _tell_ me, Seimei! I'll forgive you, and I know Ritsuka will too when he comes back to us..."

The hysterical screaming trailed off into sobs.

On the opposite side of the wall, Ritsuka's eyes widened. How could she suggest such a thing? Seimei -- Seimei wasn't -- he'd never --! Just the though of it made Ritsuka's stomach do little flips. He should go in, go to Seimei, defend him -- But wouldn't that just make Mother more angry? He froze, not knowing what to do.

"Misaki, consider what you're saying!" came Father's voice. Ritsuka peered shakily around the dividing wall in time to see the man shoot Seimei a hollowly apologetic look as he took Mother by the wrists. "You need to rest, dear."

"Mother, please take back what you've said," Seimei requested mildly as Mother was led from the room, still crying quietly. Seimei's head turned to where Ritsuka stood half inside the doorway.

"Seimei!" choked Ritsuka, running to his brother and burrying his face in the calmingly familiar scent of Seimei's chest.

"Shh," soothed Seimei gently, running a hand down Ritsuka's back (how could mother mistake such an innocent touch?). "I'm sorry you had to hear that, Ritsuka"

"It's not true. Why doesn't she see, Seimei? Those horrible things she said..." Ritsuka shook a little. Seimei kissed the tops of his ears. "Hey, I think it's best we get out of the house for a while. Do you want to go to the park?"

Tearfully, Ritsuka nodded.

Somehow, he knew Mother would forget about it by tomorrow -- it was Seimei, after all.


	5. Devotional

Devotional  
Theme #5 - Champagne and Daffodils

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"Morning, Seimei."

Ritsuka smiled warmly as he placed fresh, white chrysanthemums on his brother's altar. The seven a.m. sunlight filtered lazily through the livingroom curtains, sparkling on the silver-framed photograph of Seimei smiling in an immaculate black suit.

"I'm sorry if it's too early. I...I couldn't wait to come see you. And, I didn't want to come with mom." Ritsuka's ears drooped a little at that, but he pushed thoughts of their mother from his mind. This was his time with Seimei. Something just for them. "But it's okay, right? You miss me, too, don't you? So we have to see each other when we can."

Little white hands fastidiously swept dust from the corners of the altar shelf. Seimei didn't like dirty things.

"I brought you something. Look."

He placed a small raku cup of champagne next to the flower vase.

"You don't like rice wine because it's too heady, so I brought you champagne. It's from that restaurant. Um...it's the same vintage as before, that one you liked so much. Remember? From that restaurant you took me to for my last birthday."

Ritsuka pulled a small, yellow-white flower from his satchel.

"And this...I guess this was sort of silly, but do you remember that time a few years ago when I wanted to put daffodils on grandma's shrine?"

The boy waited patiently, still smiling at the photograph on the altar, as though allowing time for Seimei to answer his question, like a voice might speak out of the thin morning air.

"Well, you said that it was supposed to be chrysanthemums, but daffodils were better anyway, so I brought this one for you. If I stick it in back of the chrysanthemums, no one will see it except you. Do you like it?"

A smile warmed Ritsuka's face, and he stroked two fingers over Seimei-in-the-photograph's cheek lovingly. He pressed his lips to a downscaled image of black-and-white ones.

"Be seeing you, Seimei."


End file.
